So much of life is spent inside the mirrors others hold up. But there’s a freedom in letting them fall away. Beyond the praise and the blame, there’s a self that doesn’t need naming — a quiet presence that just is.
Your post is beautifully written, it's foolish to believe that naming itself is just description. Language as an act of creation actively constructs reality.
By calling you a writer, your professor was pulling you out of the vast indifference of being nobody in particular. Instead of observing something that already existed, she helped transform you into a specific character with particular traits and possibilities.
We become real to ourselves through the mirror of others' language, just as we make the world real to ourselves by naming it. This is why that early encouragement carries such weight, why a single moment of recognition can alter a life's trajectory.
The words we offer each other are powerful interventions in the ongoing story of someone else's sense of self, not neutral observations.
Great read! Really made me think. I was wondering if you think autonomous ppl that u describe get that way bc of people speaking that into them growing up or if it could potentially be in spite of the words people say to us? do words trump heritage or culture? just curious
I love this, so thoughtfully written and relatable!
I have a hunger for my own words of approval, though I often seek corroboration in the approval of others. I’ve believed too many things about myself spoken over the years to give myself the last word, and I’m grateful for the added perspective of my loved ones. In the end, it is my taste that I must appease, but I look for their words to help me create myself.
As Bulwer-Lytton wrote, “The pen is mightier than the sword.” It’s not only the words we cast into the world that matter, but the words we choose inside our own heads. In the wrong hands, even our own, those words can be the sharpest weapons. In the right hands, they can become beauty, hope, and future.
Realising this, and learning to choose words that nurture rather than wound, is a wisdom that often comes only with time. The scars from the battles before that realisation eventually stop being trauma, pain, or anger. They fade into what was; no longer what is. And that makes the liberation from the war of internal words all the sweeter.
Reading this made me think about how we’re always changing and the relationships that can weather that are the real ones. Yet, in the different seasons of life different people pop up at the right times too! Thanks for writing
I've loved this article. Thank you for bringing out that we are actually shaped by the words and the views our friends have. On a deeper level, this calls us to choose our friends, our mentors more carefully as they really determine who we turn out to be. Thank you again for your succint delivery of this very abstruse concept 😊.
I really enjoyed reading this.
The world today is quick to forget that words, and how we use them matter. A Whole Lot. Our lives are literally a result of words.
So much of life is spent inside the mirrors others hold up. But there’s a freedom in letting them fall away. Beyond the praise and the blame, there’s a self that doesn’t need naming — a quiet presence that just is.
Your post is beautifully written, it's foolish to believe that naming itself is just description. Language as an act of creation actively constructs reality.
By calling you a writer, your professor was pulling you out of the vast indifference of being nobody in particular. Instead of observing something that already existed, she helped transform you into a specific character with particular traits and possibilities.
We become real to ourselves through the mirror of others' language, just as we make the world real to ourselves by naming it. This is why that early encouragement carries such weight, why a single moment of recognition can alter a life's trajectory.
The words we offer each other are powerful interventions in the ongoing story of someone else's sense of self, not neutral observations.
Beautifully said, that’s exactly how I felt when my professor said that about me. Thank you so much for reading🩵
Great read! Really made me think. I was wondering if you think autonomous ppl that u describe get that way bc of people speaking that into them growing up or if it could potentially be in spite of the words people say to us? do words trump heritage or culture? just curious
affirmation IS oxygen bc it reconfirms our self-beliefs. the right words from the right people can help u fall (back) in love with yourself.
This was a beautiful read
I love this, so thoughtfully written and relatable!
I have a hunger for my own words of approval, though I often seek corroboration in the approval of others. I’ve believed too many things about myself spoken over the years to give myself the last word, and I’m grateful for the added perspective of my loved ones. In the end, it is my taste that I must appease, but I look for their words to help me create myself.
This and your previous essay resonate. Incredible. Can we be friends? lol
As Bulwer-Lytton wrote, “The pen is mightier than the sword.” It’s not only the words we cast into the world that matter, but the words we choose inside our own heads. In the wrong hands, even our own, those words can be the sharpest weapons. In the right hands, they can become beauty, hope, and future.
Realising this, and learning to choose words that nurture rather than wound, is a wisdom that often comes only with time. The scars from the battles before that realisation eventually stop being trauma, pain, or anger. They fade into what was; no longer what is. And that makes the liberation from the war of internal words all the sweeter.
I keep thinking about all the words people have thrown at me, good and bad… and how they have built me into who I am today.
love this article. i enjoy your writing very much ❤️
thank you so much for reading <3
Reading this made me think about how we’re always changing and the relationships that can weather that are the real ones. Yet, in the different seasons of life different people pop up at the right times too! Thanks for writing
Another great essay. So awesome Maja
Thank you for reading! 🤍
I've loved this article. Thank you for bringing out that we are actually shaped by the words and the views our friends have. On a deeper level, this calls us to choose our friends, our mentors more carefully as they really determine who we turn out to be. Thank you again for your succint delivery of this very abstruse concept 😊.
The self is collaborative fiction… I’m going to be thinking about that for a long time. 🙏🏽
Amazingg post!