I’m not entirely sure “precision” is the word I’d choose, though I do see it as an initial stage where someone begins to distinguish who they are and develop more of their own identity. As you said, “I think the ideal state might be something else entirely,” and I think that’s exactly why I can’t fully agree, because the perfect scenario isn’t about setting up sections of your being and labeling them, but about reaching a point in your own development where you read others (and yourself) in a meta way, in other dimensions, and it becomes ridiculously obvious when others “don’t get you.” They genuinely don’t see everything you see, even if you don’t say much, don’t show clear lines, don’t have the most coherent and refined definitions in words, the moment another person with the same capacity meets you, you’ll both know immediately. And yes, they’ll be able to read you perfectly, but not because you made the path easier. That’s why I can’t embrace the idea of being fully precise and defined, because in people like this, the “self” exists within a vast, multidimensional web: organic, fluid, and in constant motion. There are outlines, yes, but they’re more like deep guiding principles than neat labels; anchors that exist beyond just words or social frameworks. It’s not a tidy map, but a living structure where meaning comes from the interplay of perceptions, connections, and dimensions. Trying to reduce it to exact definitions misses the truth entirely. Yet someone who has developed this same capacity can step into that complexity, navigate it effortlessly, and even love on a depth that’s unreachable for those who can’t see themselves in this way.
Anyway, I really enjoyed this piece, and fun fact, I’m here because my boyfriend recommended your substack.
"I firmly believe that what we seek is seeking us and the fastest way to attract what’s meant for us all is to express yourself so honestly that everything misaligned falls away on its own."WOW! What a stunning post.Thank you for writing it! I will definitely be returning to it over and over again.
Love this, I've hidden what I'd love to become in my life simply because I'm still young(19) and I just lived off what my family or school teachers wanted me to become but now after finishing high school and slowly entering "adulthood" I want to finally start being myself but the fear now is "will people think I'm changing for the worst?" because they've only seen this one version of me and love that or hate nonetheless . This piece just did something to me man , thank you very much.❤️
And I can get behind your entire premise. Realized this back on a long run last weekend that in order to meet the right kind of people - whether its friends or a lover - you have to be articulate. During that time articulate in terms of speaking, but I'll move the meaning to become more encompassing to also accomodate what you're advocating for: a clearer outline, preferably in a body of work that communicates the shapes and contours of who we are.
Loved your writing, OP! Hope your see your write more soon!
An aside:
(One key ingredient for me to sustain these new relationships, I figute and will confirm with more data, is our ability to have excellent /partnerships/ - beyond the lov3 and affections that we have for the people in our lives, the concept of partnering with people in a symbiotic, reciprocal, valuable way to all parties involved).
The way you managed to put my thoughts into words is truly amazing. For so long i was saying that I hate when people are too nonchalant and now I can see clearly that it's the lack of edges, anything that makes them them that's bugging me. Thank you so much for this beautiful post ♡
I love the signal analogy, and its put words into one of the main reasons I love sitting with your writing... I may not always feel seen in the world likely because I am afraid to passionately shoot a signaling flare for others to find me. But when I read your writing, my inner world is illuminated and a mirror is held up in reflection. My "noise" doesn't seem like pollution here, my "blur" isn't idolized here but a space to improve my clarity and articulation of self. And while I may not have it all figured out, I can map the edges of who I am and desire to become.
I love reading this because i feel that it reflects what i learnt from my own self discovery journey for the past few years.
"The best relationships help us come into focus. This is because they act as mirrors, but also as lighthouses." I feel this deeply because i've been in the best relationship i've ever had recently and i can see how it uplifts me to become the person that i wished i was. I admired his extraverted self, how he can get along well with anyone he talks to, how he knows exactly what he wants and from there knows what he has to do to get them. From that relationship and with the help of his encouragement, i now am someone that is outspoken and love to interact to people. I used to be a massive introvert!
I also feel like i get to meet more fascinating people in my life after this change. I get to have good conversations with strangers and get to know people on a deeper level. And i can sense that they appreciate these too! Nowadays, these are the kind of things that feeds my soul. God bless him for helping bringing this out from me.
Translating to adulthood has become something difficult and rewarding at the sametime. Lately I've been feel like I am just a potential, not really what I want to be and what makes it even harder is that my peerage look so in alignment with whoe they are becoming. The line where you say we can't emit the frequency of what we are not hits so hard because a guy also came to my life (as a study mate), he highlighted that what I envisaged in my mind(wrapped as desire and potential) is actually vivid and alive. But as our times together are fading to none it's hard to face the reality that I'm still no yet there, there's still a lot of work I need to get into.
The article is inspiring and well-written! I love the point about striking to make ourselves clear to ourselves and others.
If I should add one more thing, it would be that self-knowledge comes from, paradoxically, allowing versions/identities of ourselves to shine through. Ultimately, not everyone is a natural conversationer or writer, and everyone starts somewhere. The search for self or connection has different paths for different people.
I was a literature person and has been completely obsessed with Philosophy since 5 years ago. I feel that I’ve been able to access to different modes of myself, or selves, when I’m on different communication channels and around different people.
Also, while Literature helped me access my writing self, philosophy taught me how I can/should make sense of others and the world around me. Us, others and the world are intertwined to shape our reality.
Your post met me on my soul searching journey. I am in a transition where I know what I am no more and I am rising to reach who I am. Who I have always been without acknowledging it fully. Afraid of not to fit into what people around me had been expecting of me. Previously and for so long Scared to have ventured away from them to attract and find kindred spirits. For now I stand mostly alone and trust the process. Writing if only to oneself would be a start..thanks for your post! It is most encouraging.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us all! I am on a journey of trying to figure out my authentic self and this piece of writing reminds me why I am on this path, even though it can be scary at times, so I can find the people that are aligned with me😊 Once again thank you for the beautiful words you shared ❤️
I’m not entirely sure “precision” is the word I’d choose, though I do see it as an initial stage where someone begins to distinguish who they are and develop more of their own identity. As you said, “I think the ideal state might be something else entirely,” and I think that’s exactly why I can’t fully agree, because the perfect scenario isn’t about setting up sections of your being and labeling them, but about reaching a point in your own development where you read others (and yourself) in a meta way, in other dimensions, and it becomes ridiculously obvious when others “don’t get you.” They genuinely don’t see everything you see, even if you don’t say much, don’t show clear lines, don’t have the most coherent and refined definitions in words, the moment another person with the same capacity meets you, you’ll both know immediately. And yes, they’ll be able to read you perfectly, but not because you made the path easier. That’s why I can’t embrace the idea of being fully precise and defined, because in people like this, the “self” exists within a vast, multidimensional web: organic, fluid, and in constant motion. There are outlines, yes, but they’re more like deep guiding principles than neat labels; anchors that exist beyond just words or social frameworks. It’s not a tidy map, but a living structure where meaning comes from the interplay of perceptions, connections, and dimensions. Trying to reduce it to exact definitions misses the truth entirely. Yet someone who has developed this same capacity can step into that complexity, navigate it effortlessly, and even love on a depth that’s unreachable for those who can’t see themselves in this way.
Anyway, I really enjoyed this piece, and fun fact, I’m here because my boyfriend recommended your substack.
"I firmly believe that what we seek is seeking us and the fastest way to attract what’s meant for us all is to express yourself so honestly that everything misaligned falls away on its own."WOW! What a stunning post.Thank you for writing it! I will definitely be returning to it over and over again.
Love this, I've hidden what I'd love to become in my life simply because I'm still young(19) and I just lived off what my family or school teachers wanted me to become but now after finishing high school and slowly entering "adulthood" I want to finally start being myself but the fear now is "will people think I'm changing for the worst?" because they've only seen this one version of me and love that or hate nonetheless . This piece just did something to me man , thank you very much.❤️
I had to pause a couple times and reflect on this piece. You write beautifully and put words to my thoughts lately.
Ah how kind! I’m so glad you enjoyed. Thank you for reading :)
And I can get behind your entire premise. Realized this back on a long run last weekend that in order to meet the right kind of people - whether its friends or a lover - you have to be articulate. During that time articulate in terms of speaking, but I'll move the meaning to become more encompassing to also accomodate what you're advocating for: a clearer outline, preferably in a body of work that communicates the shapes and contours of who we are.
Loved your writing, OP! Hope your see your write more soon!
An aside:
(One key ingredient for me to sustain these new relationships, I figute and will confirm with more data, is our ability to have excellent /partnerships/ - beyond the lov3 and affections that we have for the people in our lives, the concept of partnering with people in a symbiotic, reciprocal, valuable way to all parties involved).
What a wonderful thing to discover, excited for your journey of unlocking what the shape of that clearer outline looks like!
Appreciate you reading and engaging with my thoughts so deeply, means a lot :)
Feels like my brain nerves are exposed by reading this.
The way you managed to put my thoughts into words is truly amazing. For so long i was saying that I hate when people are too nonchalant and now I can see clearly that it's the lack of edges, anything that makes them them that's bugging me. Thank you so much for this beautiful post ♡
I love the signal analogy, and its put words into one of the main reasons I love sitting with your writing... I may not always feel seen in the world likely because I am afraid to passionately shoot a signaling flare for others to find me. But when I read your writing, my inner world is illuminated and a mirror is held up in reflection. My "noise" doesn't seem like pollution here, my "blur" isn't idolized here but a space to improve my clarity and articulation of self. And while I may not have it all figured out, I can map the edges of who I am and desire to become.
🥹 wow you put that in a beautiful way, I’m so happy to hear this. thank you so much for reading my work, and sharing this with me, it means a lot 🩵
I love reading this because i feel that it reflects what i learnt from my own self discovery journey for the past few years.
"The best relationships help us come into focus. This is because they act as mirrors, but also as lighthouses." I feel this deeply because i've been in the best relationship i've ever had recently and i can see how it uplifts me to become the person that i wished i was. I admired his extraverted self, how he can get along well with anyone he talks to, how he knows exactly what he wants and from there knows what he has to do to get them. From that relationship and with the help of his encouragement, i now am someone that is outspoken and love to interact to people. I used to be a massive introvert!
I also feel like i get to meet more fascinating people in my life after this change. I get to have good conversations with strangers and get to know people on a deeper level. And i can sense that they appreciate these too! Nowadays, these are the kind of things that feeds my soul. God bless him for helping bringing this out from me.
Translating to adulthood has become something difficult and rewarding at the sametime. Lately I've been feel like I am just a potential, not really what I want to be and what makes it even harder is that my peerage look so in alignment with whoe they are becoming. The line where you say we can't emit the frequency of what we are not hits so hard because a guy also came to my life (as a study mate), he highlighted that what I envisaged in my mind(wrapped as desire and potential) is actually vivid and alive. But as our times together are fading to none it's hard to face the reality that I'm still no yet there, there's still a lot of work I need to get into.
I love your piece dear. You're a good writer
The article is inspiring and well-written! I love the point about striking to make ourselves clear to ourselves and others.
If I should add one more thing, it would be that self-knowledge comes from, paradoxically, allowing versions/identities of ourselves to shine through. Ultimately, not everyone is a natural conversationer or writer, and everyone starts somewhere. The search for self or connection has different paths for different people.
I was a literature person and has been completely obsessed with Philosophy since 5 years ago. I feel that I’ve been able to access to different modes of myself, or selves, when I’m on different communication channels and around different people.
Also, while Literature helped me access my writing self, philosophy taught me how I can/should make sense of others and the world around me. Us, others and the world are intertwined to shape our reality.
Your post met me on my soul searching journey. I am in a transition where I know what I am no more and I am rising to reach who I am. Who I have always been without acknowledging it fully. Afraid of not to fit into what people around me had been expecting of me. Previously and for so long Scared to have ventured away from them to attract and find kindred spirits. For now I stand mostly alone and trust the process. Writing if only to oneself would be a start..thanks for your post! It is most encouraging.
I thoroughly enjoyed this. And really needed it today too. Thank you for gifting us this
Why are there no credits for the images?
They are stunning and really reinforce your essay's themes!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us all! I am on a journey of trying to figure out my authentic self and this piece of writing reminds me why I am on this path, even though it can be scary at times, so I can find the people that are aligned with me😊 Once again thank you for the beautiful words you shared ❤️
I needed to hear this. Thank you so much 🤍